Compelled Compulsion

I cannot help it at the moment.
My mind sticks to the thought of relevance.
Relevance on social media, podcast, and ebook sites. Please don't misunderstand. This isn't a need for positive attention. However, I obsess over the relevancy of building a social fan base or following because it may be important down the road. Why important? Eventually I hope to make a career out of writing.
So do these moments today affect the future?
Sure.
But how much of social media plays a part?
Can Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and whatever the hell else is out there play such a significant role in sales and downloads?
Shouldn't the content of a novel or podcast be enough?
I know the answer to that. I have for a long time. I just hate playing games. The social media game. The "Look at me, look at me," game.
The only time I like attention on me is when I am receiving laughs. And that's really only around people I know.
Shit.
I'm stuck between generations. Sometimes I love the potential of the internet and social media. Other times I wish for the glamour of the 80's, when personal tech cried in infancy, most of it too expensive for a lower-middle class family.
I demand, from myself, that I keep a strict schedule in regards to the podcast. Every week on Monday. Or Sunday if I finish early.
I am a day late.
But what do I do when I don't really have anything to talk about this week?
The schedule.
Content.
Schedule ensures the audience stays, right?
No, the content.
Back and forth I go.
What will I decide?

Episode 12 (Didn't I already use this as a title once before?)

I recorded a day early.
I spent a week feeling insecure, wondering if I could even continue doing the show.
This may have been the most fun I have had recording an episode.
Woot effing woot

Episode 12

Taking notes and jotting down ideas for episode 12. I have obsessed over content and audience response for 2 weeks now. The obsession then grows and instead of following counselor's orders to do my breathing exercises, I resort to distractions.

Mask the problem.
Bandaid the bullet hole.

Video games
TV
MTG
Twitter
YouTube

"Whatever I can do to keep myself from thinking of You."

Why do we do this?
I know I'm not the only one.