Podcast

I have joined the cool kids and started a podcast of my very own.
Seriously.
It focuses on the screwed up nature that is my brain.
So now Delicate Wrinkles is a fitting title for the blog.
For now on, I am going to use the blog as an opportunity to write what I discuss in the podcast.
Cool beans.
I am really stoked about this. I usually only get this excited when it involves a story idea or current novel project. This is great.
Later tonight or tomorrow morning I will post a summary of episode one.

Later peeps!

Pursuit

The pursuit of a dream, that quest to bring a vision into the light. Mold into it form. Breathe into it life. Difficult. Tiresome. Arduous. A venture for the strong of heart and mind. Don't get me wrong, depression and anxiety slips into the conscious grey and evokes insanity from time to time. The fight continually rages. One side fires with negative self-talk, depression, anxiety, mind numbing distractions, and unrelenting doubt. How can I go on with such shit? Ah, but the other side responds with prayer, mantras, cups of tea or coffee, the kind words of a friend, a positive review, the love of a child, a wife. To whom shall I listen? Compulsion compels me to obsess--negative or good--it matters not. Obsess. Obsess. Obsess. Until it's complete. When victory is assured. Only then can we rest. But briefly. For another project looms.

Spelling

Reviewing spelling words with my 6 year old daughter. She has a test tomorrow. I am glad I left the field of teaching because this is not my forte. However, she did get a 100 on the test last week; that was the first week I took over with homework duties. The difficulty lies with my daughter's inability to stay focused for more than five seconds. This is on medication too. Without it I might get a good second or two. Better get back to it.

Yippee

Tomorrow I will begin the first draft of the new Spiral Effect. I'm excited. Yes, that's right. I'm excited to write.
Write write write
Write until my fingers bleed
Write write write
Write until my eyes implode.
Or until I get sleepy.

Bounce those eyebrows

I'm praying and tinkering and creating and flowing like a beast master. Yes sir and madame. Feeling good and taking care of business. Been seeing a counselor. Made some realizations. Haven't felt this good in a long time. Let me tell you, years. Like, 7. Maybe more.

Outstanding.

Made some headway on the third installment of the Spiral Effect. The Soldier is picking up steam and nearly ready for a first draft. The outline begins to flesh itself out, growing meat on those bones.

Dem bones
dem bones.

Reminds me of Ed. A good friend I rarely see anymore. But what can you do when a state sits between you and a friend? Visits of once a year will due.

Prayers for the world.
Sleep tight.
Good dreams.
Love to all.

Tired

And near exhaustion.
Child Welfare is a physically and mentally draining job. If you didn't know, already. I am sure, however, most could have guessed.
This will not be a problem much longer. I put in my two week notice today. Relief. Joy. Exuberance.
Now, is the time to focus on God's vision for me.
Crazy? Nah.
I must do what I was made to do. And I was made for writing. Telling stories. Crafting tales.
The past few months have been a chaotic mess of me fighting this calling. Don't get my wrong. I love to write. It is an act of worship for me. However, this comfortable life style we find ourselves in the US is something I have grown quite accustomed to. Following God and his vision for us isn't exactly a guarantee of comfort. I accept that now.
Sure, I might get another job. I understand and accept that as a possibility. However, I'm fine with lower pay if it is less demanding.  I need my brain energized to write. The day to day of stumbling through the door in exhaustion has taken its toll.
Even now, I have difficulty maintaining focus and concentration.
I feel I have become redundant.
And this post isn't very long.
I have been tinkering a bit with the 3rd installment of the Spiral Effect. Also been working on a new Memoirs from the Other Realm. Mental stamina being low, I've only been able to put in about 20 to thirty minutes of solid writing.
Better than nothing.
Sure thing.
Well, I'm bloody tired.
Good night world, may the Lord bless your sleep with the Spirit's kiss.

Into the wind

I feel like that kid on Wet Hot American Summer. The one who does the radio broadcast. He speaks into an unplugged system. No one hears his show the entire summer. But man, that kid put on one hell of a radio show.