MOVED

That's right. I have moved...

TO MY OWN WEBSITE

I think I am more excited than I probably should be.

www.delicatewrinkles.com

Episode 4: ADD

James Gilmartin discusses the unfortunate accounts of living a life with undiagnosed ADD.

Episode 4

Episode 3: Progress Report

James discusses his weekly progress with therapy, medication, and mental exercises. Some definite wins this week.

Episode 3

Episode 2: Obsessing with Compulsions

James Gilmartin discusses his recent diagnosis of OCD and reflects on a childhood filled with obvious clues to the disorder.

Episode 2

Delicate Wrinkles is up and running...in a way

Episode 1

Inaugural episode to the Delicate Wrinkles Podcast. James Gilmartin discusses the purpose of the podcast, shares some interesting stories, and discusses bits and pieces of living with ADD, OCD, and Depression.

Episode 1

Tinkering

Yes, I am tinkering again.
Shouldn't be a surprise.

Nearly there

The outline for Episode 1 of Season 2 is nearly finished. I would like to stop the tinkering and rush into the office and begin recording. It's how I usually begin the process after obsessing over the ways an episode might suck or go wrong. However, since this episode features my impulsive nature, I decided I better take my time carefully consider each aspect of production before entering the makeshift studio. 

It's also been hot as hell in the office. Summer is here and that Oklahoma heat likes to linger. Sure, a window unit hangs from the garage window. But that rattle rattle drone might affect the sound. I will have to test it out. (Something the impulsive side has a difficult time accepting.) 

May the Lord's Spirit guide love into my heart

Sanity into my mind

and peace into my soul

Some People

Hold such arrogance I want nothing more than to plant my fist into his stupid nose. It's why I stay away from such people. At least until I can control the emotional whirlwind cause by his/her presence.

But then I obsess. My thoughts dwell on these people. Do they care? Do they wonder why I become frustrated and angry over the way they speak to me and my own?

This is the hardest part. Letting it go. The decision to be cool is up to them.

My choice is whether to associate or think about them.

Back to Work

After a month of organizing and playing with my cards, I have decided it is time to focus more of my energy and time on the podcast and novels. Today, converting the files of the previous season of Delicate Wrinkles into a smaller format. Need to conserve my limited amount of storage.

Nearing election time

And the political speak entices and divides.
incites nonsensical half-truths and distorted facts.
Can't wait till December.

Choices

Far to many and now I am overwhelmed.
Stories to write.
Topics to record.
But where do I start?
Which story or topic deserves my immediate attention?
I have no idea, so a bit of panic sets in.
Oh brain of mine. Where ever did you pick up these strange behavioral qualities?
Maybe tomorrow will bring a better answer.

Not Without Material

Thank God.
Past few months has seen me scrounging for ideas. Of course, between TV, MTG, and Fallout 4, I haven't done much in the way of facilitating creative output.
Past few weeks, however, I have used more constructively and have nearly completed the first episode of the new season.
I'm so stoked.
Hell, had some very uncomfortable family run ins this past weekend. BONUS MATERIAL!  Recording this week.

Until then...

Getting there

I have been brainstorming episode 1 of delicate wrinkles season 2. On to the outline stages. Going to discuss Impulse Control. Among other things.

Relate with Me, Damn It!

I have pushed people away.
"No shit. We all have at one time or another, yeah?"
Perhaps. However, even decades after the fact, I obsess over relationships that once were and those that could have been.

Obsessing

So, I created an account with an MTG trading service. Really great way to save on cards. However, the mail...that dreaded mail has me obsessively checking my cell. Did they receive my trade? Did they send a trade? I need to put my phone away for a bit.

Until sanity returns.

Failure

But what if I am wrong
What if I fail...

Irrational expectations due to parental misguidance.

It is time to press on, folks. To move past my inferiority complex and do what I do.

I cannot promise dates or a specific timeframe, but I am working on episodes for Season 2.

So far, I have a lot to discuss.

Mistakes

The fear of a mistake causes pause.
More than pause, really. I freeze. Before pen hits paper, the fear cripples me. So then I procrastinate. I dread. I procrastinate some more.
The weight of the world buries me.
Why?
Because I was always wrong as a child.
It makes a difference.

Perfectionism

I fear making mistakes. This explains my increased procrastination when the pressure of a story or podcast gets real. I hide in safety:
Books
Video games
A facade, sure, but without the possibility of a life altering mistake.

Process

With the new format I will record in sections.

That's the plan at least.

Rather nervous as it is new.

Wish me luck!